Issue 09: Today’s Brew: Leading with Empathy – The Most Misunderstood Leadership Skill
☕ Brewed for Leaders Who Care
Espresso & Empathy — Issue 09
By: Shannon Foster
Founder & Senior Consultant, Martin & Foster Consulting
April 30, 2025
Empathy is having a moment—and it should. But for many leaders, it remains the most misunderstood and underutilized tool in their toolkit.
In times of stress or transition, we default to action, solutions, and problem-solving. But what people often need most—especially in the workplace—is to be seen, heard, understood and valued.
The truth is, empathy isn’t about being nice. It’s about being present.
Empathy vs. Sympathy: Why It Matters
We’ve all heard the words used interchangeably, but in leadership, the distinction is critical.
Sympathy is feeling for someone. It's a distant acknowledgment: “That sounds tough.”
Empathy is feeling with someone. It invites connection: “I can understand why you feel that way.”
In the workplace, sympathy often shows up as surface-level concern—followed by business as usual. Empathy, on the other hand, leads to meaningful conversations, tailored support, and deeper trust.
Empathy fuels engagement. Sympathy maintains distance.
Why Empathy Is a Leadership Imperative
This isn’t just about emotional intelligence—it’s about business outcomes.
Empathy helps teams:
Navigate change with less resistance
Resolve conflict with more clarity
Open up about challenges before they escalate
Feel safer, more valued, and more committed
And for leaders? Empathy strengthens influence, connection, and credibility.
How to Lead with Empathy—Practically and Consistently
Empathy isn’t just listening. It’s how you respond, follow up, and lead moving forward.
Try this:
Listen to understand, not to fix Ask: “What do you need most from me right now—support or solutions?”
Reflect back what you heard “It sounds like you’re feeling frustrated because expectations weren’t clear.”
Create psychological safety Be the kind of leader who makes it okay to say, “I’m overwhelmed,” without fear of judgment.
Be mindful of tone and timing Delivering hard news with empathy doesn’t soften accountability—it deepens respect.
Empathy isn’t an event—it’s a leadership posture.
The Martin and Foster Approach to Empathy in Action
At Martin and Foster Consulting, empathy is at the heart of everything we teach.
In our Self Leadership programs, we empower employees to advocate for what they need. In our Coaching Essentials and Building Trust courses, we equip leaders to listen deeply and lead with humanity.
We don’t train for compliance—we coach for connection. Because empathy is not optional when your goal is to build high-performing, people-centered cultures.
Empathy is how we develop people, value people, and do the right thing.
Leadership Self-Check: Are You Leading with Empathy?
Do I pause and really listen before responding?
Do my employees feel safe bringing up concerns?
Do I tailor my approach to individual needs?
Have I asked my team how they’re really doing lately?
If not—start now. Empathy isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s a sign you’re paying attention.
Final Thoughts
We often talk about empathy as a soft skill. But in leadership, it’s anything but soft.
Empathy is accountability with understanding. It’s leadership with heart. And it’s what separates managers who get results from leaders who build trust.
If you're trying to lead without empathy—you’re only getting half the picture. Let’s stop mistaking emotion for distraction and start recognizing it as a direction.
Because when you lead with empathy, people follow—for all the right reasons.