Issue 22: Today’s Brew: Difficult Conversations with Empathy—What to Do When Emotions Rise
☕ Brewed for Leaders Who Care
Espresso & Empathy — Issue 22
By: Shannon Foster
Founder & Senior Consultant, Martin & Foster Consulting
July 30, 2025
Let’s Talk: Difficult Conversations, Real Emotions
No one enjoys difficult conversations—but in leadership and HR, they’re not optional. Whether it’s delivering performance feedback, addressing behavior, or discussing organizational changes, these moments test not only our communication skills but our emotional intelligence.
And what happens when the recipient becomes emotional?
Tears. Anger. Silence. Defensiveness. These reactions can leave leaders unsure of how to proceed—or worse, tempted to avoid the conversation altogether.
But here’s the truth: hard conversations can be compassionate. And when handled well, they don’t erode trust—they strengthen it.
The Myth: Empathy Means Fixing the Feelings
Empathy is not about absorbing someone’s pain or rescuing them from it. It’s about creating space for their experience—without trying to control or correct their emotional response.
As leaders, our job isn’t to stop someone from feeling—it’s to listen, hold space, and stay steady.
What we say matters. But how we say it—especially when emotions rise—matters even more.
4 Ways Emotionally Intelligent Leaders Navigate Tough Talks
Prepare for Emotions, Not Just the Message
Pause, Don’t Panic
Empathize Without Over-Explaining
Stay Grounded in Facts and Support
The HR Perspective: Balancing Policy and Compassion
For HR professionals, these conversations carry an added weight. We’re not just representatives of people—we’re representatives of the organization.
And yet, it’s possible (and necessary) to be both firm and human.
If an employee reacts emotionally to a policy decision, disciplinary action, or termination, here’s the rule of thumb:
✔️ Acknowledge the emotion
✔️ Maintain professionalism
✔️ Document the conversation
✔️ Follow up with support resources (EAP, time off, HR availability)
Boundaries and empathy can—and should—coexist.
Final Sip: Difficult Conversations Are Leadership Moments
Don’t avoid tough talks. Don’t fear emotions. Use them as an opportunity to lead with courage and care.
Empathy doesn’t mean losing control of the conversation—it means leading it with emotional intelligence and humanity.
Because leadership isn’t about being comfortable. It’s about being capable of doing the right thing, even when it’s hard.
And when you show up calmly, kindly, and clearly—you model the kind of leadership that builds trust in every direction.