Issue 31: Today’s Brew: The Conversation You’re Avoiding Is Costing You
☕ Brewed for Leaders Who Care
Espresso & Empathy — Issue 31
By: Shannon Foster
Founder & Senior Consultant, Martin & Foster Consulting
October 01, 2025
Let’s Talk: The Cost of Avoidance
Every leader has felt it—that pit in your stomach before a difficult conversation. Whether it’s addressing performance issues, navigating conflict, or sharing unwelcome feedback, the temptation to avoid the conversation altogether is real.
But here’s the truth: silence isn’t neutral. It speaks volumes. And often, what it says is far worse than the words you were afraid to say.
Avoidance may bring short-term relief, but it creates long-term damage—to trust, to culture, and to your credibility as a leader.
Why We Avoid Tough Conversations
Leaders often sidestep hard conversations because:
They fear emotional reactions
They don’t want to be “the bad guy”
They hope the problem will resolve itself
They lack confidence in what to say
The problem is—while you wait, issues rarely improve. Instead, they grow. Silence validates behavior, spreads frustration to others, and erodes confidence in leadership.
What Avoidance Costs You
When conversations don’t happen:
Trust erodes: Teams notice when leaders avoid accountability.
Problems grow: Small issues compound into bigger ones.
Credibility suffers: Leaders lose respect when they stay silent.
Culture weakens: Other employees stop speaking up, too.
Avoidance doesn’t just protect the other person—it protects your discomfort. And that’s not leadership.
How to Break the Cycle
Courageous leadership doesn’t mean conversations are easy—it means they’re necessary. Here’s how to approach them with empathy and clarity:
Prepare, Don’t Script
Lead With Empathy
Focus on Behavior, Not Character
Stay Consistent
Leadership Self-Audit
Ask yourself:
Have I avoided a conversation because it felt uncomfortable?
What impact did that silence have on my team, my credibility, or the individual involved?
Do I prepare my mindset as much as my message when entering tough conversations?
Have I created a culture where direct, honest dialogue is safe and expected?
Final Thoughts
Difficult conversations don’t break trust—avoiding them does.
When we approach hard truths with empathy, clarity, and consistency, we don’t just resolve problems. We strengthen culture. We model courage. And we prove that leadership is about doing the right thing, even when it’s uncomfortable.
So the next time you’re tempted to avoid a conversation, remember: silence costs more than honesty ever will.