Issue 35: Today’s Brew: What Empathy Is—and What It Isn’t
☕ Brewed for Leaders Who Care
Espresso & Empathy — Issue 35
By: Anita Martin
Principal Consultant, Martin & Foster Consulting
October 29, 2025
Let’s Talk: The Misunderstood Power of Empathy
Empathy gets a lot of attention in leadership circles—but just as often, it gets misunderstood.
Some see it as “soft,” others confuse it with sympathy, and many leaders struggle to find the balance between care and accountability.
But empathy isn’t weakness. It’s wisdom.
And it’s one of the most critical skills any leader can develop.
What Empathy Is
Empathy is the ability to understand and connect with the emotions, experiences, and perspectives of others. It’s about listening to learn—not to respond.
Empathy means being emotionally present, showing genuine curiosity, and responding in ways that convey respect, care, and insight. It’s how trust is built, relationships are strengthened, and psychological safety is created.
True empathy doesn’t stop at “I hear you.”
It continues with “How can I support you?”
As psychologist Alfred Adler said:
“Empathy is seeing with the eyes of another, listening with the ears of another, and feeling with the heart of another.”
Empathetic leaders don’t just understand feelings—they act on that understanding with integrity and compassion.
What Empathy Is Not
Empathy is not sympathy. Sympathy says, “I feel bad for you.” Empathy says, “I’m here with you.”
It’s not weakness or indecision. Empathetic leaders can still set boundaries, make difficult choices, and hold others accountable—with dignity.
It’s not fixing or rescuing others. Empathy means understanding without trying to take over their emotions or solve their problems.
It’s not performative. Real empathy isn’t a scripted response—it’s authentic, consistent, and felt through your actions, not just your words.
Where Leadership and Empathy Meet
Empathy isn’t about lowering standards or avoiding tough conversations—it’s about leading with awareness and integrity.
At Martin and Foster Consulting, we often say that empathy is like a muscle: it strengthens with consistent use.
The more intentionally you practice it—in conversations, feedback, and daily interactions—the more natural it becomes.
Empathy doesn’t erase accountability.
It humanizes it.
Leadership Self-Audit: How Strong Is Your Empathy Muscle?
Ask yourself:
Do I listen to understand—or to respond?
When an employee struggles, do I seek to support or to fix?
Am I consistent in showing empathy, even when I’m under pressure?
Do my actions reflect care and integrity, or convenience?
How often do I check in—not just on performance, but on people?
If you’re intentional about these questions, you’re already building stronger connections—and stronger teams.
Final Thoughts
Empathy isn’t a trend. It’s the cornerstone of trustworthy leadership.
It builds belonging, reduces conflict, and helps people bring their best selves to work.
The most successful leaders aren’t the ones who have all the answers—they’re the ones who make others feel heard, valued, and respected along the way.
Because empathy isn’t just what we do—it’s how we lead.