Issue 14: Today’s Brew: Empathy in Action—Listening When Emotions Run High
☕ Brewed for Leaders Who Care
Espresso & Empathy — Issue 14
By: Shannon Foster
Founder & Senior Consultant, Martin & Foster Consulting
June 04, 2025
Whether it’s a frustrated customer or a discouraged employee, how you respond in emotionally charged moments says everything about your leadership. At Martin and Foster Consulting, we believe these moments are where trust is tested—and earned.
The key? Respond with empathy, not sympathy.
Acknowledge the feeling—without overstepping into blame.
Own your role—without taking responsibility for something you didn’t cause.
It’s a balance of emotional intelligence and professional boundaries.
Why Empathy Matters in Tense Moments
When someone is upset, their goal isn’t always to place blame—it’s often to feel seen, heard, and respected. Empathy helps de-escalate emotions, restore dignity, and open the door to resolution.
But leaders and frontline staff often fall into one of two traps:
Sympathy: “I’m so sorry, I feel terrible.”
Over-Ownership: “I’m sorry we upset you.”
Empathy avoids both.
What Empathy Looks Like in Practice
Empathy doesn’t mean you agree.
It means you understand how someone feels and reflect that understanding in your response.
Try these emotionally intelligent statements instead:
“I can hear how frustrating that must be for you.”
“It makes sense that you’d feel that way given what you’re experiencing.”
“Let’s walk through this together and see what options we have.”
“Thanks for sharing that—let’s see how I can support you.”
You’re not accepting blame.
You’re acknowledging the emotion behind the experience—and that’s what builds connection and trust.
Leading With Accountability—Not Apology
If a mistake was made, own it with clarity and confidence:
“You’re right—this was our oversight. Let’s talk about how we’ll make it right.”
“Thank you for pointing this out. We take responsibility for the error and appreciate your patience as we resolve it.”
But when the situation isn’t your fault, avoid false accountability. Instead, offer support without surrender:
“I understand this has been frustrating, and I want to help you move forward.”
“While this part may be out of our control, I’m committed to helping you find a solution.”
Empathy paired with boundaries is where leadership shines.
A Quick Leadership Check-In
Ask yourself:
When was the last time I actively listened to someone who was upset—without interrupting, fixing, or defending?
Do I default to apologizing, even when the issue isn’t within my control?
Have I trained my team on how to show empathy without over-personalizing customer or employee concerns?
Final Thoughts
At Martin and Foster Consulting, we teach leaders that how you make people feel matters—especially when they’re struggling. Empathy is not a liability. It’s a leadership asset.
When we listen with empathy, respond with intention, and lead with clarity, we create environments where emotions can be processed—not ignored, not absorbed, and not weaponized.
Let’s raise the bar: not just better customer service or stronger people leadership—but a culture rooted in emotional intelligence, accountability, and trust.