Issue 47: Today’s Brew: What Your Team Notices More Than Your Intentions

☕ Brewed for Leaders Who Care

Espresso & Empathy — Issue 47

By: Shannon Foster

Founder & Senior Consultant, Martin & Foster Consulting

January 21, 2026

Most leaders have good intentions.

You care about your people.

You want to be fair.

You believe you’re leading with empathy.

And yet—intentions aren’t what shape culture.

Experience does.

At Martin and Foster Consulting, we see this often: leaders who are genuinely well-intentioned, but unaware of how their everyday behaviors are landing with their teams. Not because they don’t care—but because they assume intent carries more weight than impact.

It doesn’t.

Intentions Don’t Build Trust—Patterns Do

Your team doesn’t experience your leadership through what you meant to do.

They experience it through what you consistently do.

They notice:

  • How you respond when they’re under pressure

  • Whether you listen fully or multitask

  • If follow-up actually happens

  • How tone changes when deadlines loom

  • Who gets patience—and who doesn’t

These moments may feel small to you.

To your team, they’re data points.

And over time, those data points tell a story.

What Your Team Is Always Paying Attention To

Even when nothing is said, your team is watching for signals.

Do you make time for conversations—or rush through them?

Do you stay curious—or jump to conclusions?

Do you ask questions—or issue directives?

Do you acknowledge effort—or only outcomes?

Empathy isn’t proven in mission statements or leadership values.

It’s proven in how safe people feel bringing concerns, ideas, or mistakes to you.

When Intent and Impact Don’t Match

Many leaders are surprised when they hear:

“I didn’t feel supported.”

“I didn’t feel heard.”

“I didn’t think it was safe to speak up.”

Their response is often genuine confusion:

“That wasn’t my intention.”

And that’s usually true.

But leadership growth begins when we’re willing to examine impact—without becoming defensive about intent.

Empathy requires humility.

It asks leaders to listen not just to what they meant—but to how others experienced it.

Aligning Empathy With Everyday Leadership

Empathy shows up in the moments that feel routine:

  • One-on-one check-ins

  • Feedback conversations

  • How questions are answered

  • How conflict is handled

  • How mistakes are addressed

When leaders slow down, stay present, and respond with consistency, empathy becomes visible—not assumed.

Leadership Self-Audit: What Are You Signaling?

Ask yourself:

  • How do I respond when someone brings me a concern I wasn’t expecting?

  • What does my tone communicate when I’m stressed or busy?

  • Do I follow through on what I say matters?

  • Would my team describe my leadership as predictable—in a good way?

  • Am I more focused on being understood, or on understanding?

Your answers reveal the gap—if any—between intention and impact.

Final Thoughts

Your team wants to believe the best about you.

But trust isn’t built on belief—it’s built on experience.

Empathy isn’t what you say you value.

It’s what people feel when they work with you.

When leaders align intention with behavior, empathy stops being a concept—and becomes a culture.

Previous
Previous

Issue 48: Today’s Brew: Saying the Right Thing Isn’t the Same as Doing the Right Thing

Next
Next

Issue 46: Today’s Brew: Sharpening the Empathy Muscle—Turning Intention into Daily Practice