Issue 48: Today’s Brew: Saying the Right Thing Isn’t the Same as Doing the Right Thing
☕ Brewed for Leaders Who Care
Espresso & Empathy — Issue 48
By: Shannon Foster
Founder & Senior Consultant, Martin & Foster Consulting
January 28, 2026
Most leaders care deeply about doing the right thing.
They value empathy.
They speak about trust.
They emphasize transparency and respect.
And yet, many teams experience something different.
That disconnect doesn’t usually come from bad intent. It comes from a hard truth in leadership:
People don’t experience your intentions. They experience your actions.
Where Intent and Impact Drift Apart
Leaders often assume that because their intent is positive, their impact will be as well. But teams don’t measure leadership by what you meant to do. They measure it by what actually happened.
What gets followed up on.
What gets tolerated.
What gets corrected—or quietly ignored.
You can say:
“My door is always open,” but be unavailable when concerns are raised.
“We value work-life balance,” but reward burnout and overwork.
“Speak up if something feels off,” but respond defensively when someone does.
Over time, those gaps erode trust—not because leaders don’t care, but because actions speak louder than intentions ever could.
Empathy Lives in Behavior, Not Language
Empathy is not proven by thoughtful words alone. It’s proven by consistency.
Empathy shows up when:
Feedback is timely, not delayed until frustration builds.
Accountability is applied fairly, not selectively.
Decisions align with stated values, even when it’s uncomfortable.
Teams don’t need leaders to be perfect. They need leaders to be aligned.
When words and actions match, trust grows.
When they don’t, confusion takes over.
What Teams Notice More Than You Think
Your team is always watching—not in judgment, but for clarity.
They notice:
Who gets grace and who doesn’t
Whether concerns lead to change or just conversation
How leaders behave under pressure
What happens after the meeting ends
Leadership credibility isn’t built in town halls or strategy decks. It’s built in follow-through.
Closing the Gap Between Saying and Doing
Bridging intent and impact doesn’t require grand gestures. It requires awareness and ownership.
Strong leaders regularly ask:
“How might this be landing?”
“What behavior am I reinforcing?”
“Where might my actions be sending a different message than my words?”
Empathy deepens when leaders are willing to self-correct—not quietly, but visibly.
That’s where trust strengthens.
Leadership Self-Audit: Intent vs. Impact
Ask yourself:
Do my actions consistently reflect the values I talk about?
Where might my team experience mixed messages?
What behaviors am I unintentionally rewarding or overlooking?
When was the last time I acknowledged a misstep and adjusted course?
If my team described my leadership through actions alone, what would they say?
These questions aren’t about guilt. They’re about growth.
Final Thoughts
Saying the right thing matters.
Doing the right thing matters more.
Empathy isn’t defined by what leaders intend—it’s defined by what people experience.
When your words and actions align, leadership becomes credible.
When they don’t, even the best intentions fall flat.
The work of leadership is not just choosing the right language—but committing to the right behavior, again and again.
That’s how trust is built.
That’s how empathy becomes real.